That Time God Spoke to Me...Through Keith Urban

**Fair warning, this is going to be a sappy post.**

 

God, yes THE GOD, spoke to me tonight through Keith Urban. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous. And technically Keith had very little to do with tonight's divinity, but I'll get to that in a minute. First, a little backstory:

My Memaw (my mom's, mom) had a stroke back in January of 2016, and y'all- its been hard. She developed dementia-like symptoms, lost her ability to walk, and basically all of her daily freedoms and responsibilities. She has been bedridden and wheelchair bound since the stroke, and in March (if I remember correctly) she had to be placed in a nursing home, as we were made to realize that her mental and physical deficits were simply not going to improve. 

I think I can speak for most, if not all, of my family when I say we have had our high and low points with her situation in the last year. I know I will get in a habit of going to see her regularly, then something will happen, or something will be said, or maybe it's just the tension of not knowing what to say, and before I know it, two months have passed and I haven't been by to visit. For me, it is so very hard to see her in her current state. This woman has been tough as nails for her entire life. She has seen incredible hardships, and elaborate blessings. And, throughout my life, she has been a rock. An unwavering beam of light that no matter what dark hole I have found myself in, I can always crawl back to her and know she will pick me up. She's never turned her back. She hasn't always agreed with my decisions, but she has never abandoned me...and thats not something I take lightly. 

Then last weekend she had another stroke. A bad one. A bleeding one. A stroke that was accompanied by seizures, and being intubated, and an ICU stay at Baptist Hospital in Little Rock with a very grim outlook. The reality of the situation at this point: she's probably not going to pull through this time. And Im struggling with it. Im struggling because...the stroke didn't kill her. She is still alive. But she can't breathe on her own, she broke her arm and dislocated her shoulder during the seizure. She is in pain. Her quality of life will almost 100% never be back to any version of "normal". And, she is going to have to be taken off the ventilator at some point. We aren't to that point yet because we're still watching her brain activity to determine how much of "her" is left in there, but we know she can't stay on the vent forever.

So yeah, Ive been struggling with all of the questions. The, when do we do it?, how do we do it?, how many attempts do we try to get her off the ventilator before we just give up?,...and all the doubts, and its all just sooooo much...

And then tonight I was on my way home from a wedding consultation and God sang TO ME. This is what he sang....*enter Keith Urban*

"Some bright morning when this life is over
I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away

I'll fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die, Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away

When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away

I'll fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die, Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away

Oh, how glad and happy when we meet
I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I'll fly away

I'll fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die, Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away

I'll fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die, Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then
I'll fly away
To a land where joys will never end
I'll fly away

I'll fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away in the morning
When I die, Hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away"

Try and read those lyrics and not cry. It could not have been more perfect, heartbreaking, and simultaneously peaceful. You can not convince me it was a coincidence, that song was meant to be heard by me, right then. "Just a few more weary days and then I'll fly away to a land where joys will never end, I'll fly away". Thank you God for sending me that song, right when I needed it. Thank you for letting me hear your voice in it. Thank you for giving me the peace to know you are in control. Thank you for reminding me that you already have our days numbered, that we need not worry, and that when Memaw does die, whether that be tomorrow or a year from now, Hallelujah by and by, she's going to fly away. Amen.